It has been brought to my attention that we have lacked closure in our social media platform for the 2012 Vail Shootout.
From my perspective, we finished 3rd in a a field of 9 teams...we sucked...with the lack of a first place trophy there was also less hardware given to the individuals so for closure in 2012 I am going to offer up this edition:
The 2012 Team Hulu Awards...
1) The "Unstory" Award goes to: #1 Kevin M.
Kevin got some bullish*t community service award for his efforts in promoting the game...are you kidding me! I think Kevin should take that mini lacrosse stick and shove up some douche bags a$$ on Team Adrenaline and say "promote this"! You can do better Kevin!
2) Defensive MVP -- #44 Zach G
Truthfully, I could care less about defense so I really have no idea who played well...Zach is getting this award for bringing back the OWU spirit and shooting with no time left at the end of the 3rd quarter from beyond mid-field to put us ahead by 15 goals instead of 14...that is being the story...when someone is down you don't extend a hand you put your f'ing foot on his neck people! Thank you for correcting so many of Kevin's wrongs here Zach!
3) Midfield MVP -- Everyone but #16
Simply stated...he wasn't a "finisher" on and off the field in 2012...Scoring 2 goals for the tournament with the minutes you saw ... maybe the pain of knowing "it is me not you" stung more than we all expected...
4) Attack MVP -- Joffa
This dude scored goals and then went hiking in the mountains while Maguire laid around tell everyone who would listen that he "broke his heart"... you can learn something here #5!
5) Be the Story Award -- #26
You got drunk...well that wasn't the story...you got so drunk that when you actually purged yourself of all that was left you fell over into the bushes and came out looking as though you fought a pack of women who only wanted to attack your face with their fingernails...just amazing
6) Small Talk Award -- Doug G (#14 I think)
"What's Your Spirit Animal"...I don't know, it sounded pretty hokey at the moment because we got sidetracked on Unicorn's but knowing that I have a latin name (Nix Porcum) makes it all seem so worthwhile now.
7) Let's Never Discuss This Again Award -- Bath Salts
"Don't look at the pictures...don't look at the pictures"
8) Best Home front Check in Award -- #9
So the saying goes, "A picture is worth a a thousand words..."
9) The "This Is Why You Don't Bring your Family Award" -- K Mac
900 kids, trampolines, fevers, baby vomit and Vail Urgent Care...it was almost like you weren't even there K Mac!
10) The "Can I take that pass back" Award -- #3
30 seconds left in regulation...up by 1 goal in the Semifinals and all we have to do is run out the clock...OR...throw it to the opposing team defense en route to a game tying...overtime forcing goal.
Until we meet again ...
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